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Married Romance » Articles » Love and Romance
Romantic Travel for Moms & Dads
by Mark Honeck
Travel as a couple can be such a romantic and freeing opportunity, providing a escape from the routine and an opportunity to explore new places, new tastes, new experiences. Everything is alive with possibilities . . .
. . . UNLESS you are parents of young children. Then it is the very same lack of routine that haunts you. Removed from the familiar support structure of babysitters and relatives, reduced living space, unfamiliar foods, and lack of privacy all too often join forces to create an experience that must be endured rather than enjoyed.
Yet, the whole idea of a family vacation is to actually spend some quality time with your children, so you need to strike a balance. Keep reminding yourself that this is only a temporary situation; a life season that will pass all too quickly. Once your eldest child reaches their teen years, your leash will get long enough to enjoy that moonlight walk on the beach with your spouse once again. But until that day arrives, proper planning and correct choices can give you a vacation with even young children that can provide the opportunity for romantic reconnection.
Avoid the frustrations:
- Lighten the Agenda - You can't do as much as you used to before children. Children tire easily then quickly become fussy. Plan ahead to accomplish less and enjoy it more and avoid adding fatigue to the issues listed above.
- Choose the right environment - when it's just the two of you, a room in a hotel is part of the appeal. With a family, your choice of lodging is far more critical to the success of your vacation. Take advantage of the wide variety of enhanced lodging options: timeshares, condos or vacation homes all provide you the space and privacy you need to eliminate many common frustrations.
- Get a kitchen - young children view restaurants and unfamiliar food with suspicion. Lodging with a kitchen doesn't mean to have to cook, it just gives you options. It allows for simple, comfort foods that are familiar to your children: a bowl of cereal for breakfast or chicken nuggets for dinner. Not only will you start the day with a sense of familiarity, but you're likely to save a little time and money in the process.
- Consider a swimming pool and hot tub - I'm not referring to a hotel pool that closes at 10 PM and forces a coordinated family movement to visit. Find one of the increasing numbers of vacation homes that have their own private swimming pool. This not only ensures availability of deck chairs, but young children will exhaust themselves in this luxury, falling asleep faster at night and sleeping more soundly than you ever dreamed possible. Of course, once the exhausted kids are in bed, the door is open for a large number of options including a candlelight dinner, moonlight swim, or sharing a glass of wine or sparkling cider in the hot tub.
- Enlist outside help - rather than taking a chance with an unknown babysitter in an unfamiliar city, consider bringing your own. Once you're in a larger living space, the incremental cost of accommodating either grandparents or a trusted teenager from home to provide babysitting services is minimal. The former often only needs access to the grandchildren and offering the latter a sunny space by a private pool is frequently all the enticement they'll need to join your entourage, giving you the freedom to get out and reconnect as a couple.
- Make your children co-conspirators - Don't hide your romance plans from your children. Let them help you execute your plans:
Example: tell your six year old daughter that: "I am planning a special evening for mommy and I need your help. When we get back to our vacation home tonight, I am going to start drawing a bath for mommy in the big tub so she can just soak and relax. To make the water smell nice, would you add the petals of the roses I gave her to the water while I light some candles and start some relaxing music. Then you need to help me get your little brother in bed so mommy can relax in the tub. Can you draw pretty picture that she can look at while she is relaxing in her bath while I put her towel in the dryer so it is nice and warm when she steps out of the water? Then in the morning, can you and your brother watch your Lion King DVD so mommy can sleep late. I'll put it the DVD player in your room with the case on the nightstand to remind you when you wake up."
Not only will she grow up with the confidence that daddy loves mommy, but you are adding to the likelihood of success in her own marriage because she will recognize a quality guy when she sees one. I also assure you that her future spouse will thank you for modeling this behavior.
Plan ahead for romance:
- Create a 'travel romance kit' - this is a good idea for couples without children, but it also requires a few modifications now that you're going to be traveling with children:
- Motion detector and/or Baby monitor - to give concerned parents the freedom to enjoy a separate bedroom.
- Romantic Music CDs - atmosphere is crucial. If you don't have a collection of romantic music CDs, get some immediately and load them up on an MP3 player.
- Lingerie - always purchased with the best of intentions, it never seems to make it out of the drawer at home. With a vacation home you have all the privacy with none of the chores to do. Besides, if you successfully link vacations with lingerie, don't be surprised if vacations become a more frequent occurrence.
- Massage Oil - though any type will work, we recommend a silicone-based oil. Whether used as a massage oil for a relaxing massage, a decadent foot rub in the hot tub, or more intimate purposes, this stuff really does stay slippery 'even in water'.
- Flickering LED tea lights - enjoy all the ambiance of candlelight with none of the danger or hassle. I bought some of these battery tea lights on eBay for a couple of dollars apiece and they have become a staple for our lovemaking. A box of 6 of these 'candles' fit in a 4" x 6" x 1.5" box so they pack nicely and they create a romantic glow that can't be beat.
- Create the right atmosphere - Who cares if you can't get out at night? Once you've escaped your nagging to-do list from home, you'd be surprised how much atmosphere you can create with soft candlelight, romantic music, and a glass of wine or sparkling cider. Even 'routine' surroundings take on a very different ambiance.
- Try a candlelight 'dinner-in' - as a creative alternative to a hectic dinner out, feed your kids the simple familiar food they like (chicken nuggets?) and put them to bed in their own room. Then order a couple of carry out restaurant meals and create an intimate, candlelight dinner for two without the need for a babysitter. But there are a few important rules:
- Seek out a location
- other than the dining room: a patio, the pool deck, or even the master bedroom to enjoy your dinner.
- Purchase a bottle of wine or even sparkling cider to share together.
- Never eat out of the restaurant boxes, take the time to transfer the food to plates. It will be a special dinner if you make it a special dinner.
- Consider dressing up for dinner like it was a date. The act of applying a little make-up, changing your clothes, and other similar routines clicks your sub-conscious into 'special night'. HINT: To make your dinner-in really special, slip on a pair of high heels (not enough walking to hurt your feet) and that killer dress that is a little too risqué to wear to a real restaurant.
You'd be surprised how little importance the quality of the cuisine makes when you have a quiet, uninterrupted time together.
- Seek home-bound activities - Be creative with your time after the kids are in bed. Staying home in unfamiliar surroundings, without the routine distractions of home, things take on a new perspective:
- Give your spouse a slow, relaxing massage on the pool deck or patio.
- Make some popcorn and curl up together to watch a romantic chick-flick.
- Slow dance under the stars on the pool deck.
- Sit outside with a cold glass of lemonade and quiet conversation while looking at the moon and stars.
- Go for a moonlight swim in your own private pool.
- Drop some rose petals in the bathwater and enjoy a candlelight soak together.
- Take turns reading to each other from the book you can never seem to make the time for when at home.
Children are only young for a too short season in your lives. With a little creativity and forethought, even family vacations can provide both quality family-time and includes enough couple-time to rekindle the romance as well.
About the Author:
Mark and Holly Honeck are enjoying in the 27th year of their honeymoon after having worked with young marrieds in their church for over a quarter century. Encouraging romance in marriage is their passion as well as their family business. They are the owners of RomancingtheMouse.com in Orlando, which offers vacation homes specifically designed to provide parents of young children with the ability to reconnect as a couple while spending quality time with their kids: a romantic getaway during the midst of an Orlando family vacation. We invite you to visit our website at www.romancingthemouse.com and watch our YOUTUBE video to learn how.
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