Surveys and Polls

What Do Married Spouses REALLY Want?

What do married men really want?
What do married women really want?

  • Married men want sex and married women want to "make love"...we both want a true and honest friend in one another. ~ From a married woman of 20 years

  • Both women and men should want to hold each other accountable. Women want the romance from their husbands that they got while they were dating. Men want sex to be like it was when they were dating . . . best friends and soul mates, companions and inseparable lovers. ~ From a married woman of 4 months

  • For me, I really need to touched, cuddled and talked to in a gentle, and affectionate way. I need lots of romance. Even though I'm a man I need to be close to my wife as much as we can in a romantic/sensual way during the evenings just before going to bed. I need her to say that she loves me. Not that I don't know that she does, but to hear that she loves me, and backs it with action means the world to me, and I do the same for her. To me cuddling under the bed covers as we're drifting off to sleep will make the following day go sooo much better, and it puts a spring in my step too. ~ From a married man of 4 months

  • As the years have gone by, I feel married men knowingly or unknowingly see intimacy as sex only, married women want to appreciateed more in a romantic way from her lover, friend, and husband. ~ From a married woman of 10 years

  • Married couples want committment, fidelity and respect ~ From a married woman of 4 years

  • I want soft music, candlelight, along with aggressivness, and someone that I can truly be myself around, and I want to feel that even after all these years, he thinks that I am the sexiest women on earth. ~ From a married woman of 3 years

  • My husband really wants a hearty dinner and oral sex. I really want a healthy dinner and just cuddle by candlelight. ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • Men want their wives to respect them and their opinions. Women want to be loved and appreciated affectionately. Apparently the problem arises when men give only respect to their wives, and women give only love and affection to their husbands. We are giving what we want to receive and not what the other person needs or wants to have. A man's needs (wants) in marriage from greatest to least are sex, recreational companion, her to be attractive to him (not necessarily to society's plastic mold standard), a good home life, to be admired by her. A woman's needs (wants) from greatest to least are: affection, someone to talk with, honesty and openness, financial security, and famly committment. When we as husbands and wives begin to focus on the other's need we will improve our marriages. ~ From a married man of 14 years

  • I want love, respect, honesty and compassion. I want a best friend. ~ From a married woman of 3 years

  • Would love the wife to show a true desire for me and our relationship every once in a while. (i.e. - plan a romantic night, recommend something "new" in bed. Put some "thought" into keeping our marriage "fun" "spicy". More enthusiasm!! I love her dearly, but after some pondering, these are "bonuses" that I sure would like from my lovely wife. ~ From a married man of 16 years

  • Married women crave love, but in a different way than men crave love. Married women, especially as they age, want to be shown they are still young, alive, and sexy. Romance is the key to showing that! Married men want to know that they are appreciated, loved, and respected. They must be told constantly! ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • I want kindness, and gentle understanding. And please, always make me laugh! ~ From a married woman of 19 years

  • Sex, love, trust, happiness. ~ From a married man of 3 1/2 years

  • Communication, respect, comfort from feeling like you're wanted, not needed! ~ From a married woman of 17 years

  • Appreciation for the hard work that we do with the kids and the house. ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • We got better when we stopped being delusional about Jesus Christ, as he's currently being marketed, tossed the "Bible" in the rubbish and took responsibility for ourselves. If you're REALLY serious about your relationship, clean the closet top to bottom. ~ From a married man of 17 years

  • To feel adored and appreciated every once and awhile. ~ From a married woman of 4 years

  • I want my sexuality to be ever evolving, with experimentation and mutual agreement/disagreement to be the factor determining whether something stays or goes in our sex life......I'm sick of these old school taboos getting in our way. ~ From a married man of 8 years

  • The desire of my heart is to be one with my husband in body, mind, and spirit. I want our relationship to be completely open, honest, affirming, and loving. I want great sex to continue into our elder years together, because sexual oneness is the link that creates the marriage. ~ From a married woman of 18 years

  • A real and true friend to be there. ~ From a married woman of 2 1/2 years

  • Understanding and compassion. ~ From a married woman of 2 years

  • I think that both men and women want to be acknowledged. When you have a problem or concern, whether the other person agrees with you or not, you want to know that you have someone who *cares* that you feel the way you do. ~ From a married woman of 4 years

  • For my wife to be my best friend, to let me be a man to her as a woman, to be one in Christ. ~ From a married man of 25 years

  • I want security, romance, support, faithfulness and lots of LOVE! ~ From a married woman of 17 years

  • Our marriage works because my husband and I want the same thing: an equal partner to share our lives with. ~ From a married woman of 3 1/2 years

  • I want my wife to be my best friend and partner. ~ From a married man of 14 years

  • Someone to love, trust, be there to talk when you need it and be your best friend for life. ~ From a married woman of 2 1/2 years

  • Both men and women need romance, friendship, companionship and to be together. ~ From a married man of 4 years

  • 100% honesty. ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • To feel loved and respected, other than "in the bedroom" ~ From a married woman of 2 years

  • Honesty!!! We both want someone that's honest, doesn't hurt, and who isn't sneaky about things. From a married woman of 6 years

  • Married women want more romance and married men want more sex. ~ From a married man of 15 years

  • Married men always want more of the physical; married women want more romance. ~ From a married woman of 9 years

  • A wife that cherishes me for the person I am no matter what. ~ From a married man of 6 years

  • Married women want to be treated like queens and married men want freedom. ~ From a married man of 2 years

  • Romance! Hold my hand, whisper "I love you" in my ear, bring me flowers, ask me out on an official date, look at me with puppy dog eyes, etc. ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • Once you are married your sex life just becomes"SEX" . . . the husbands want to have sex all the time while wives need to feel loved, and want our husbands to "MAKE LOVE" to us rather than just routine sex. ~ From a married woman of 12 years

  • Married men want a woman to take care of them, their needs, their home, their children. Married women want romance, stability, and a super sense of family. ~ From a married woman of 15 years

  • Married women really want to love and be loved on every level by their husbands. To connect, not just physically but spiritually (through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ), emotionally as well. For me it is important that my husband loves the Lord most of all, then me, because Christ calls a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Nothing could be better than this kind of love from a husband! ~ From a married woman of 5 years

  • My man wants time with just him and I; I want time with him and I. From a married woman of 5 years